What is empathy? Empathy is ‘feeling with’ another person: it is entering into the emotional life of that person. How do you feel empathy for another person? Empathy is achieved by being self-aware of the ways you experience another person, as a person. Once you have achieved this self-awareness, then you are free to enter into the emotional life of that person. To do this, you need to be curious: you need to listen, to ask questions, and to be sensitive to that person’s emotional state.

Empathy is achieved when you can accurately reflect back to the person the nature of their emotional life. The practice of empathy is central to our experience of intimacy with other people. Without the capacity to empathise with the experiences of others, we can fall into feelings of narcissism, emptiness, and fragile self-esteem, which, in turn, can lead to egocentric and addictive behaviours.

Empathy is most commonly confused with sympathy. When we sympathise with another person, we typically want to do something to ease their suffering or pain, while when we empathise we simply want to understand the nature of their emotional state without any commitment to acting. Empathy should also be distinguished from pity which is a feeling of superiority about another’s suffering. The practice of empathy can both sustain the emotional structure of our self and lead to genuine and authentic relations with others.

Empathy will be the subject for discussion at the next ‘Philosophy on the Beach’ on Tuesday 20th September 10.30-Noon at Burleigh Beach. Meet outside Burrough Barista. $5